Self Sabotage

So for 2 days I’ve told Grace we’ll go for a bike ride.

Backing up.  Work’s been busy.  That’s my excuse for not making it to the rec center on Wednesday and Thursday during the day.  Don’t make it out the door before noon then you go 7:30 at night with Grace.  The new game plan for summer is ride our bikes to the rec center, get my 30 in, ride to the butterfly garden and home.

Wednesday no rec center before noon and go to the casino with my sister.  No bike ride, no rec center.

Thursday busy with work and almost don’t leave the desk.  Forced myself to go to fridge and make egg salad sandwich when my tummy protested around noon.

Tired after work so I thought I’d lie down.  Nope, I started dinner instead.  Mistake one when I’m that tired that I think I need a nap, don’t start dinner.  Mistake two is making fried chicken for dinner.  Well, I had one more frozen package in the freezer so why waste it.  Mistake three is being stupid enough to not put it in the crock pot at noon instead of deciding to fry it.  Oh I’m so unused to fried foods now.  Didn’t realize how well I’d been doing on not eating fried foods.  

Grace wants McDonald’s I go to Subway.  We have been having more grilled or pan seared meats, and more portion control meats.  Grace isn’t a meat person so I have started buying one serving for me on those she doesn’t like.  Asking for one pork chop, one steak, etc.  Only extra on chicken breast so we can throw it in salads or make quesadillas.  She’d just live on hotdogs if I let her.

Mistake what four…stop counting them, was to tell Grace we’d go for a bike ride to the rec center and then continue our bike ride.  My stomach is screaming at me.  I lay down.  The alarm goes off, I hit snooze, Grace comes and pesters me, I hit snooze.

Compromise, bike ride to the butterfly gardens (a memorial park with flower garden plots at the hospital) and home with no stop at the rec center.  It’s almost 8:00 by then.  Get there so that’d be half way right?  LOL.  It starts pouring down.

Lesson learned.  Need a nap, take it.  Fried foods…no more back to baked, grilled, crock pot, and throw the oil out.  Say you’re going bike riding and to the gym…get your butt up and go or you’ll get yours in the end, a complete down pour!

I do it to myself.  I blow off noon workouts.  I sit at the desk and don’t eat until I’m almost sick. Then I wonder why I’m not making better progress, why my energy level still fluctuates so much.  It’s hard to make changes on your own (in your 40’s you’ve had plenty of years to form bad habits) when you are a wimp with no commitment power.  No commitment power is so true; just ask both my ex-fiancés!