Surviving Tuesday.

I had a terrific Tuesday.  For breakfast I had Raisin Bran with my organic skim milk to get me going.  For snack I picked up an original flavored piece of jerky while I ran to Wal-Mart for hair care products.  My Wal-Mart must refuse to believe we have any ethnic diversity in our community.  Finding a simple hairdressing, relaxer or any product for my daughter’s hair is impossible around here.

The buffet was not so bad.    Small plates were a bonus to see placed next to the buffet table.  I took a little rice with (I don’t remember) like a chicken Madras, a small side salad with a little dressing, and a piece of Tandoori chicken.  I had two glasses of water.  I overdid it with Naan.  They set a whole basket on your table.  Bread is a major downfall for me.  Love my carbs.

For dinner I stopped at Casey’s and ordered a tortilla wrap with turkey, ham, and roast beef.  I included a little spicy mustard, lettuce, tomato, and onion.  I could only eat half before I was overwhelmingly full.

Scale today said no gain, no loss.  Feel like I dodged some kind of bullet.

Facing new fears.

Thirteen pounds!  That’s exciting to me.  With it there are new fears cropping up that I’ve never really dealt with before.

The biggest fear is that I’ll fall off the wagon and eat too much one day, and that the next day the 13 is all back.  I keep dreaming I step on the scale and I’m back to starting weight.  Freaky huh?  Then it narrows to worrying about even one or 2 pounds.  All the work to lose it why is it so easy to gain it back? 

Another fear is reaching my goal.  I just read a fabulous article by Margaret Cho.  I’ve always adored her and enjoyed everything I’ve seen her in.  I’m a huge Drop Dead Diva addict, and I always want to see more of her character.  She has recently lost weight and has a great blog from July 20, 2011 “Weight Loss and What Trainers Don’t Prepare You For”.  

 http://www.margaretcho.com/content/2011/07/20/weight-loss-and-what-trainers-don%E2%80%99t-prepare-you-for/

I totally get it.  I’m not even down a size and I’m totally getting what she has to say.

Last, but not least, I have to eat lunch out tomorrow for a work thing.  We are going to an Indian buffet.  Great!  Two whammies at once:  eating out and a buffet.  Outside of going to Subway, I’ve ventured once to Dairy Queen and had a grilled chicken sandwich without Mayo but with fat free ranch.  What am I going to do circling back to fear number one?  I’m researching best choices, but I want something I’ll like to eat not just because it has the lower calorie count.  My game plan is small portions, quit when full, drink plenty of water, and stay away from things you know are extremely high calorie like a dessert.  But BUFFET!?!?!?

I’ll check back with you Wednesday to see if Tuesday wrecks my morning weighing routine.

Stalled

Same weight 4 days in a row.  Not gaining at least, but am not losing either.  I have been on track and watched, counted calories, refusing to go above 1500 for the day and trying to never go below 1200.  I like to stay closer to 1200 most days.  Boy if that doesn’t make a weak mind (mine) do something forgivable (not unforgivable).  I ate and ate and ate last night.  

I went to put away something in the cupboard and the mini powdered donuts beckoned to me.  I obliged.  I had 5 or 6.  I had already reached my calorie count for the day by feasting all afternoon on a big juicy pork steak with barbeque sauce.

Then I saw the ice cream was almost gone.  It’s been in the freezer awhile, so let me just finish it off and get it out of there.  The ice cream was so much better with a banana, chocolate syrup, and some crushed walnuts.  Later Grace wanted pizza.  I had 3 slices of Tonys 4 cheese pizza. I had to wash it down with Diet Mt. Dew. 

Full tummy, restless and was just so hard to get to sleep.  I slinked to the scale this morning.  Nothing gained and nothing lost.  I think my body needed it.  I think I needed to show it I wasn’t starving it, that it can let go of the fat!

Yes, as always I was beating myself up for it.  But, my mom came to the rescue and gave me a pep talk.  Also, the babysitter confessed she’s had days like that and will avoid the scale for 2 days.  Each time she ventures to return to the scale it’s even or she has lost some weight. She is not on the same program as I am, but she has lost more than 40 pounds since Spring.

I will take the 10 I’m holding at, and now start anew today.  Forward.  One day did not crush me, and I did not doing anything unforgivable.

SparkPeople

I am loving Organic Liaison.  However, just not a total organic nut.  Not that I’m not trying to make adjustments as I have mentioned before.  I was trying more natural products to find from OL that a “natural” product doesn’t mean a thing.  The use of natural on a product is not regulated by the USDA.  It can mean processed food and you don’t know how ‘processed’ that is.  Here’s Wikipedia’s information on natural foods. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_foods

One thing I find hard is the preplanned menu on OL.  It’s great to suggest things, and you can adjust it.  But, I don’t want to spend time preparing the meals, pay for the items to make the meal.  Then, more than half the stuff I just don’t like or eat.

What I love is SparkPeople.com.  They rock.  http://www.sparkpeople.com/about/index.asp  Read more about them if you’d like.  But, I’ll tell you my reasons for using SparkPeople and the main one is it is free.  A diet tool that’s free online.  Amazing isn’t it?  They have the most awesome food tracker.  I can put in the foods I eat and it will calculate the totals for me.  Can’t find your favorite oatmeal, snack cracker, or deli meat in the food tracker?  You can add any food you want.  It will even keep it in a favorites folder where you can find the foods you eat often with ease.

They have a so so fitness tracker.  I always balk at fitness trackers.  I think the formula to calculate the calories burned it not as accurate as it could be.  Exercise machines at the gym ask me my weight and age, but how does that calculate that I’m 5’7” and that most my weight is fat.  This means I will burn different calorie stats on a treadmill at the same speed and incline as a male my age that weighs the same and might have more muscle mass.

It does have an excellent library of articles and recipes.  I enjoy many of the articles.  I have even printed a few, for example, exercises for lower back pain.  Not that my doctor hasn’t given me such information, but never know where I put them.  They have excellent support and a community of people sharing their stories. 

I have used the site for a few years now on and off the diet wagon.  I’m happy to have it there for me now through this journey.  One I’m taking more serious than I think I’ve taken any other diet endeavor.  Ok…ok…life style change endeavor.

Weekends are hard.

I busted my behind all day Saturday to clean and ‘reclaim’ my house.  I had boxes full of things marked for a garage sale.  Not a sale at my house, but the babysitter offered to let me include my things.  Over 5 boxes of stuff stacked at the corner and on the dining room table.  I have a huge tote with Currier and Ives dishes and some antique stuff in a box that need to go to the consignment shop hanging out in the kitchen.  Of course, the living room is Grace’s new play land and always out of sorts with toys, dishes, cups, and freeze pop wrappers.

I stayed within my calorie count.  Scale on Sunday morning, I gained a pound.  I know my body will adjust and fluctuate.  I know that one pound should not overshadow the other ten I’ve still lost.  I’ve analyzed it to death though.  I ate a lot of ham and processed foods.  I think the salt intake had a huge factor.  I forgot to take my Culterelle for 2 days – Saturday and Sunday.  I ate a small breakfast and then didn’t eat again for several hours.  That again left for lots of calories at the end of the evening.  I had pasta for the first time on the diet.  

I may have sweated my butt off cleaning parts of the garage to store those boxes, went up and down the stairs several times to work on laundry (trying to not to come up the stairs empy-handed by carry out garbage, boxes, clean clothes etc.), sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, but I didn’t go to the gym all weekend.

Sunday I was quite lazy.  I felt I deserved it after accomplishing almost everything on my to do list from Saturday.  Grandma even volunteered to babysit so I could go enjoy Harry Potter.  YEAH!  That’s all I’m saying.

Though I had a great enjoyable weekend, and Grace lost another tooth, plus her top ones have erupted, it’s hard.  There is no routine like during the week.  I end up sleeping in, not eating at scheduled times, and not working out.  Do I try harder?  Do I resolve that weekends are going to be this way?  Do I accept that I push all week and that the weekend allows my body to recover from the routine and relax a little more? Not sure yet.  Let’s go another weekend and see if it nets the same results.

Total side note:  The USA should appreciate its elders.  Those that have worked and played hard their entire lives in honor of this country in hopes of retiring comfortably in the face of changing times.  People that paid into Social Security should have the comfort to know they will be able to pull from that source to pay even the basics to survive.  For the government to think they don’t need the help are insane, insensitive assholes.  If they really are there to serve the people they should agree to pay cuts and the removal of self serving riders and agendas and preserve Social Security.  And beyond that, education is the bases for everything.  Short change the youth on acquiring knowledge will short change the future of the USA.  How can they be blind to this?

Bertolli - YEAH!

I tried it.  Bertolli Organic Olive Oil, Basil, & Garlic Sauce (USDA Organic) and I loved it.  It was nice and tangy but not acidic like so many pasta sauces.  There is lots of basil and love the garlic in it.  Very simple ingredients and maybe someday I’ll try making my own sauce from garden fresh items.  Only 80 calories for ½ cup which I’m unsure how that compares to other pasta sauces. Nice and a little chunky with the tomatoes.  It stuck to the beef and cheese tortellini really well.  Wonderful lunch and will be having it for days since Grace refused to try it.  She’s a simple wheat spaghetti person with simple sauce.  She doesn’t like the basil looking like grass bits in the pasta.

Nicely done, Bertolli, and worth getting again.

Am I supposed to say I was not paid to say this and did not receive anything from Bertolli. I did find it expensive, but that's just because most organic foods around where I live are.  This was worth it.

Unbelievable

This morning brought shock, disbelieve, elation, and a few other emotions I can’t describe.  Let’s just say I thought I broke another scale.  I stepped on, shook my head.  I stepped off the scale and pushed it around the floor with my foot.  I stepped on, shook my head again.  I know I was now speaking out loud to myself muttering a series of unmentionable words and lot’s of “NO WAY”.  I proceeded in this ritual for quite a bit.  Fine, I’ll accept it.  I will just go to the gym today and weigh on their scale to compare it to mine.  Because there is no way I lost 9 pounds in 6 days.  No way.

Good news.  I weighed the same on the gym scale.  So, I believe my scale at home has been accurate in weighing me the last 6 days.  Two toward the bad news however, one being I forgot to enter my beginning weight in the program.  It will say I’ve only lost 4 pounds.  I can be such a dork.  I’ll regret this one.

The second thing I need to point out is that even though I’m totally excited I’ve lost NINE pounds is that I gained 10 pounds since April.  Ten pounds after I started the gym.

Lesson learned that exercise alone does not make you lose weight.  I was consistent during the spring in going to work out 3-4 times a week.  My normal thing is to do 30 minutes at target heart rate and not to count warm up and cool down.  I lasted over a month then stopped.  I don’t know where along the lines from the beginning of April until the beginning of July how I managed to pack on 10 pounds.

I have one pound to go to be ‘even’ starting of where I thought I’d begin.  I am proud of the 9 pounds.  I’m proud that I’m sticking to this.  I love Organic Liaison and would recommend it to anyone that could afford it.  I feel I can’t afford it.  Ok, I can afford the product each month, but organic food in Knoxville, Iowa is not an easy feat.  It is not available and if it is you give an arm and a leg for it.  I’m a fiscally challenged responsible single mom.  I’m terrible with money and lack it due to unreal debt ratio, which I seem to wish to be done with but put less effort in achieving that goal than buying useless stuff.  But, I am making adjustments as I can.  

Since I feel I’m eating less and eating less bad food though I have made some adjustments.  No more peanut butter, I’m not a fan of natural or organic peanut butter.   I don’t like the taste.   I did get organic pasta sauce, since it’s an important one to get.  I’ll let you know after tomorrow what I think of it and give you more information on the brand.  I did get organic carrots.  I’ve tried to buy more natural products and working on whole grains next.  One good thing is Grace and I have always been fans of wheat pasta.  White pasta is flat tasting water absorbing shoe strings.  

Yeah 9 pounds!