Stalled

Same weight 4 days in a row.  Not gaining at least, but am not losing either.  I have been on track and watched, counted calories, refusing to go above 1500 for the day and trying to never go below 1200.  I like to stay closer to 1200 most days.  Boy if that doesn’t make a weak mind (mine) do something forgivable (not unforgivable).  I ate and ate and ate last night.  

I went to put away something in the cupboard and the mini powdered donuts beckoned to me.  I obliged.  I had 5 or 6.  I had already reached my calorie count for the day by feasting all afternoon on a big juicy pork steak with barbeque sauce.

Then I saw the ice cream was almost gone.  It’s been in the freezer awhile, so let me just finish it off and get it out of there.  The ice cream was so much better with a banana, chocolate syrup, and some crushed walnuts.  Later Grace wanted pizza.  I had 3 slices of Tonys 4 cheese pizza. I had to wash it down with Diet Mt. Dew. 

Full tummy, restless and was just so hard to get to sleep.  I slinked to the scale this morning.  Nothing gained and nothing lost.  I think my body needed it.  I think I needed to show it I wasn’t starving it, that it can let go of the fat!

Yes, as always I was beating myself up for it.  But, my mom came to the rescue and gave me a pep talk.  Also, the babysitter confessed she’s had days like that and will avoid the scale for 2 days.  Each time she ventures to return to the scale it’s even or she has lost some weight. She is not on the same program as I am, but she has lost more than 40 pounds since Spring.

I will take the 10 I’m holding at, and now start anew today.  Forward.  One day did not crush me, and I did not doing anything unforgivable.