This weekend my best friend told me he could forgive my ex but not forget. Forgive him for threatening to beat him up, to even kill him. For calling him names, for saying he’s a liar and a thief. I guess my best friend is a bigger man than I.
Could I forgive my ex for:
- Calling me a slut
- Calling me a whore
- Telling me I’m stupid
- That I love gambling more than him or my daughter
- That I’m raising a monster
- Constantly accusing me of cheating
- Threatening bodily harm/death to my friends/family
- Throwing/breaking things
- Lying
- Drinking, drinking, drinking
Reminds me of Ashton Sheperd’s song Look It Up. “The words forgiveness. Look it up. It’s what Jesus has in store for you, but I don’t no matter what.”
Anytime I think about the relationship I really miss the newness, the beginning, pre-drinking days. But I’d live in fear that one day, any day, it would start all over again.
My friend didn’t ask me if I’d sleep with my ex if I saw him. As much as I’d say no I’m sure one look at his eyes, face body, and I’d melt. But, I’d cry before, during, and after knowing the rest would overshadow a do over in our relationship.
Forgive him? No. Forget? No. Move on? Soon...hopefully soon.
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