When it's beautiful to cry.

I've cried more this year than in the last couple of years.  I've cried over:
Being Sick
Fighting with my boyfriend
Fighting with my child
Depression
Break up with boyfriend
Finances
Vehicles
Work
Lack of energy
Alarm clocks
Being lonely
Being single again
Crazy dogs
Crazy family
Cried and cried and cried over anything and everything.

Tonight I cried but it was actually a happy beautiful moment.  I was in bed watching Lifetime Movie Network.  Watching "Dan in Real Life" followed by "In the land of Women".  Both great movies.  Here comes Grace and Blue.  Right into the middle of my big 'ol lonely queen size monster bed.

Grace buries under the covers after a little bit.  Stretches her hands up so one hand will touch my face.  I asked, "What are you doing next?"  Thinking half the lights are on, the tv in the living room, front door is probably open, garage door open, laundry waiting.  "I don't know", she says.  I look down and her eyes are closed.

In that moment her soft breathing, her hand on my face, button nose, full lips, long lashes, light brown perfect skin.  Blue at our feet stretched out.  A perfect moment.  The tears just rolled down my cheeks as she slept next to me.

In all the madness I've created and felt in my world this year it was a moment to treasure and a moment to remember.  My life is madness right now.  But, so much of it will pass.  Paying off bills, getting the vehicle fixed, keep exercising, find inner peace, get rid of his stuff, organize the closets, send things to Good Will, catch up on dishes, cleaning, laundry.  But, in all this chaos one perfect moment lasts a lifetime.  It reminded me that one of my favorite sayings was always "I'm right were I'm suppose to be at this point in time.".  And I feel that way tonight more than I have in the past 6 months.  I'm back on track.  I know I'm back on track and back to me and my life.

There is a reason I'm going through this year.  A reason, a season, a purpose...